Friday, November 23, 2007

Compatibility

A few days back I got this thought, we in this IT driven generation expect every software/hardware to be backward compatible. We also frown on having a large age gap between couples. Is this not backward compatible in an odd way? After listening to a few stories of people from my friends on how couples break up after taking the step of marriage. If each of these stories are analyzed a bit its very clear it was just a matter of compatibility. After 7 years of companionship with my sweetheart I can say this with experience, just love is not sufficient. It is not sufficient to keep a couple together, keep them happy for long periods like our parents. There has to be compatibility, now what is the definition of compatibility? How will a person ever know how compatible is his/her partner? One quick definition will be to say the two people have to connect. This connect has to be in multiple levels- Spiritual, Physical & Social.
By spiritual I mean what you believe about God, which festivals you like to celebrate, your opinion of tradition, whats acceptable in the name of rites and what is the definition of superstitious/orthodox. When there is a difference in these, then the compromise is on something that is deeply ingrained.
By physical I do not just mean sexual, that is a prerequisite for a healthy relationship. There has to be a chemistry, spark that draws you to your partner like a magnet. There must be something in the looks, moves, laughs, or smiles; something that compels the need to be with him or her.
By social I mean family patterns, social life, finance objectives, domestic responsibilities, communication style, flexibility to oogle at opposite sex:), intellectual inclination and opinion towards rearing children.
Basically what I am trying to convey is similarities make life together much simpler. Living together involves compromise, and it is easier to compromises when you share common values and interests. Sure, sometimes opposites can attract, but for a stable relationship I would bet on similarity.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Gift

This birthday was a milestone year for me. I have lived on this planet for good three decades. Sitting in Dandeli crossing this milestone I was wondering about my life till now. My gal wanted to give me an amazing gift of Paragliding. But due to shortage of vitamin M we had to put it forward. I was left wondering is this the way my life would be- not able to get what I want when I want it. This goes completely against my principle of always having the ability to get what I want when I want it. The harder I thought and more I spoke to my gal, I realized Life is how we live it….. not how we spend it. This sort of made me think about the movie The Ultimate Gift and analyzed how each of the gifts talked about in that movie has been in my life.
  • Gift of Work - Work could be better but i know I will reach there soon
  • Gift of Money - I am short of it but not completely deprived of it
  • Gift of Friends - I have a lot of good friends, Are they real friends? Would they stand by me if I am bankrupt today? I hope I never get into that situation
  • Gift of learning - I have learnt a lot but a lot more learning is needed
  • Gift of problems - Never been in the state where I have lost everything, hope to never get there
  • Gift of Family - I have a nice family with their idiocracy but they are all gems
  • Gift of laughter - Sufficient laughter in my life, I am not always frowning with worries. My gal complains I do that a lot thou:)
  • Gift of dreams - Ohh yeah this I have loads, in a few years I will know if I am on the path to achieving them
  • Gift of giving - Have strong plans and will very soon make my first big giving
  • Gift of gratitude - I hold a lot of people accountable for my current state, is it for a good state or a bad state depends on the perspective
  • Gift of a perfect day - I don't know which one to call my perfect day. Is it my 30th birthday? I have had many which fall into this category
  • Gift of love - I have the love of all my loved ones, especially my mom and my girlfriend-life partner

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Procrastination

From the time I have learnt to eat food on my own I remember my parent scolding me on procrastinating. I am procrastination personified, if either of my parents ever read this, they would tell instead of that stupid blog do something about those things you have been pushing for later.
What happens when procrastination becomes the norm instead of the exception? I would say everyone would end up being me I have no idea why I procrastinate, it is like putting things for later is the best thing I do. Anyone close to me would agree that the first thing I do for any task is find a reason to push it for later. I have done that in my studies (no doubt I am such a scholar), in expressing my love to my gal, in making investments, in my work place every deadline is pushed to it max extent. Now what have I left! Even after this habit of mine hurting my dreams and aspirations for some reason I just don’t seem to learn.
Because of this addiction to procrastinate I have lost quite a few opportunities to make a difference. These days the most important thing I have been postponing is the task of studying my law subjects. I better get my ass down and learn from my past mistakes. I read somewhere “If you dn’t use success to enrich your life then you are putting failure into Gucci shoes.” And for now I feel like I am the Gucci shoes. I have been trying hard to get away from one more of my addictions “PROCRASTINATION”. Recently I read an article about structured procrastination, which made me write this blog that I have as usual postponed for too long.
Structured procrastination is the art/talent of making my bad trait work for me, isn’t that cool! The key hypothesis is that procrastinating does not mean doing absolutely nothing, I rarely do absolutely nothing; I do marginally useful things, like browsing net or reading useless magazines/papers or making a diagram of how I will reorganize files/mails when I get around to it. Why do I do these things? Because they are a way of not doing something more important!
Structured procrastination requires a certain amount of self-deception. I will have to be able to recognize and commit to tasks with inflated importance and unreal deadlines, while making myself feel that they are important and urgent. This is not a problem, because virtually all procrastinators have excellent self-deceptive skills also. And what could be more noble than using one character flaw to offset the bad effects of another? Perfect!!!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Middle Class

I hate being part of the middle class. It is like I am being boxed into a corner and finding myself in a corner is something I detest. I know I am part of a relatively narrow slice - larger in numbers than the wealthy, but obviously less numerous than the poor. I am part of the only class in the society to which all the laws of the society apply. It is only us who pay tax, it is only us to whom all the rules & regulations are enforced on. Everyone in the upper or the lower most strata indulge in drugs, murders, polygamy, and every other illicit activity and are not deterred by the outcome. The upper class just buy their way out, the lower class are not just bothered.
I have to move out of this jailed class of the society. How will I move between strata; what kind of environment is conducive for me to do that? Analyzing this I have realized that when the economy is consumer centric, upper class take over. When the economy is focused on infrastructure or goods and services for the masses, the middle class prospers. Also history shows that the strongest economy in terms of volume presently – American economy was built on products-consumers. No-one can tell yet, if India is moving towards a product economy or a service economy. I am ready to be a bookie on this one, I have already placed my bet and the roulette wheel is in motion. The bet I have placed along with my partner for life may be our ticket out, we are betting on Services - the underdog.
The greatest problem with a "service" based economy is that the only factor of production that can be changed is wages. So over a period of time when we grow big how we manage wages will surely be a big deciding factor. I being part of the middle class will have to work hard and play by the rules and go by the understanding that the game is already stacked against me.