Friday, November 23, 2007

Compatibility

A few days back I got this thought, we in this IT driven generation expect every software/hardware to be backward compatible. We also frown on having a large age gap between couples. Is this not backward compatible in an odd way? After listening to a few stories of people from my friends on how couples break up after taking the step of marriage. If each of these stories are analyzed a bit its very clear it was just a matter of compatibility. After 7 years of companionship with my sweetheart I can say this with experience, just love is not sufficient. It is not sufficient to keep a couple together, keep them happy for long periods like our parents. There has to be compatibility, now what is the definition of compatibility? How will a person ever know how compatible is his/her partner? One quick definition will be to say the two people have to connect. This connect has to be in multiple levels- Spiritual, Physical & Social.
By spiritual I mean what you believe about God, which festivals you like to celebrate, your opinion of tradition, whats acceptable in the name of rites and what is the definition of superstitious/orthodox. When there is a difference in these, then the compromise is on something that is deeply ingrained.
By physical I do not just mean sexual, that is a prerequisite for a healthy relationship. There has to be a chemistry, spark that draws you to your partner like a magnet. There must be something in the looks, moves, laughs, or smiles; something that compels the need to be with him or her.
By social I mean family patterns, social life, finance objectives, domestic responsibilities, communication style, flexibility to oogle at opposite sex:), intellectual inclination and opinion towards rearing children.
Basically what I am trying to convey is similarities make life together much simpler. Living together involves compromise, and it is easier to compromises when you share common values and interests. Sure, sometimes opposites can attract, but for a stable relationship I would bet on similarity.