Roman in Rome

A few days back I had been to a fair(mela/jaatre) here in my home town. An incident there triggered me to think; what does ‘Be a Roman in Rome’ actually mean? Do we have to be like the people around us to get what we want? According to me among other things this adage is apt for adhering not just when you are in a different country or state. It is applicable in a multitude of scenarios, let me explain with two different scenarios,

--When you are standing in a Queue and a person just ignores it and goes ahead. Not just one a bunch of them will you just stand there ignore them and 'calmy' try and get what you have stood in line for? Or will you point out the existence of a Queue and when they don’t head will you give a piece of your mind in a language they understand?

--You have taken time out, arrived early to find an appropriate seat in the auditorium. Just around when the program starts some morons make the ground in front of you their standing ground. Will you just ignore them / abandon the program and head home? Or will you point out to them not to block your sight and if they don’t heed, will you tell them to F#$& off in a language they understand?

I am of the kind who would always choose the latter option. According to me there are zillions of people out there who can pulverize a small piece of us between their molars. Just by talking to a moron in a language he understands I will not lose my identity. There is no way I can let someone step on my toes, take a jab at my face and walk scot free. I will stand up and fight for what I want, it could be requesting for it in a polished polite manner, asking for it by changing my tone, using a language the other person understands, and if required using more than just mere words to get what I want.

Learnability

These days I am faced with a different kind of challenge. I am not sure if it is a lack of will power to complete what I started or is it my learning disability that is holding me back. Now I am not buying the argument that it’s a lack of will power. I am no quitter for sure I know that much about myself. Now is it an issue of learnability? What is learnability? As far as my commonsense tells me it is the ability of a person to learn new things. Now associating that to my issue, I have a problem remembering anything legal. So the issue as far as I can analyze is I am not able to correlate a relation between the language and the thought behind it. So my problem has lot to do with readability of the legal books, reference material. Why is it that so many people around me are able to do it and I am not able to? This is because all my life I have read engineering material and for a few years now management material. Now out of the blue I am asking my mind to comprehend legal material which it has never done. I have to learn reading comprehension, decoding, and memory strategies on legal subjects. Who will teach me this? Who can assist me in learning this and finish what I started? I feel like that kid Ishaan Awasthi (Darsheel) in the movie Taare Zameen Par just before he meets Ram Shankar Nikumbh (Amir Khan). I fear I may not be able to finish at all and fail in something which I myself selected. I am back to the same intersection ruled by failure from which I had taken a deviation a few years back. Now again I need to carve a path out of wilderness, I need to find a way out! I need to take the untrodden path.

Compatibility

A few days back I got this thought, we in this IT driven generation expect every software/hardware to be backward compatible. We also frown on having a large age gap between couples. Is this not backward compatible in an odd way? After listening to a few stories of people from my friends on how couples break up after taking the step of marriage. If each of these stories are analyzed a bit its very clear it was just a matter of compatibility. After 7 years of companionship with my sweetheart I can say this with experience, just love is not sufficient. It is not sufficient to keep a couple together, keep them happy for long periods like our parents. There has to be compatibility, now what is the definition of compatibility? How will a person ever know how compatible is his/her partner? One quick definition will be to say the two people have to connect. This connect has to be in multiple levels- Spiritual, Physical & Social.
By spiritual I mean what you believe about God, which festivals you like to celebrate, your opinion of tradition, whats acceptable in the name of rites and what is the definition of superstitious/orthodox. When there is a difference in these, then the compromise is on something that is deeply ingrained.
By physical I do not just mean sexual, that is a prerequisite for a healthy relationship. There has to be a chemistry, spark that draws you to your partner like a magnet. There must be something in the looks, moves, laughs, or smiles; something that compels the need to be with him or her.
By social I mean family patterns, social life, finance objectives, domestic responsibilities, communication style, flexibility to oogle at opposite sex:), intellectual inclination and opinion towards rearing children.
Basically what I am trying to convey is similarities make life together much simpler. Living together involves compromise, and it is easier to compromises when you share common values and interests. Sure, sometimes opposites can attract, but for a stable relationship I would bet on similarity.

Gift

This birthday was a milestone year for me. I have lived on this planet for good three decades. Sitting in Dandeli crossing this milestone I was wondering about my life till now. My gal wanted to give me an amazing gift of Paragliding. But due to shortage of vitamin M we had to put it forward. I was left wondering is this the way my life would be- not able to get what I want when I want it. This goes completely against my principle of always having the ability to get what I want when I want it. The harder I thought and more I spoke to my gal, I realized Life is how we live it….. not how we spend it. This sort of made me think about the movie The Ultimate Gift and analyzed how each of the gifts talked about in that movie has been in my life.

• Gift of Work - Work could be better but i know I will reach there soon
• Gift of Money - I am short of it but not completely deprived of it
• Gift of Friends - I have a lot of good friends, Are they real friends? Would they stand by me if I am bankrupt today? I hope I never get into that situation
• Gift of learning - I have learnt a lot but a lot more learning is needed
  
• Gift of problems - Never been in the state where I have lost everything, hope to never get there
• Gift of Family - I have a nice family with their idiocracy but they are all gems
• Gift of laughter - Sufficient laughter in my life, I am not always frowning with worries. My gal complains I do that a lot thou:)
• Gift of dreams - Ohh yeah this I have loads, in a few years I will know if I am on the path to achieving them
  
• Gift of giving - Have strong plans and will very soon make my first big giving
• Gift of gratitude - I hold a lot of people accountable for my current state, is it for a good state or a bad state depends on the perspective
• Gift of a perfect day - I don't know which one to call my perfect day. Is it my 30th birthday? I have had many which fall into this category
• Gift of love - I have the love of all my loved ones, especially my mom and my girlfriend-life partner
  

Gift

Procrastination

From the time I have learnt to eat food on my own I remember my parent scolding me on procrastinating. I am procrastination personified, if either of my parents ever read this, they would tell instead of that stupid blog do something about those things you have been pushing for later.
What happens when procrastination becomes the norm instead of the exception? I would say everyone would end up being me I have no idea why I procrastinate, it is like putting things for later is the best thing I do. Anyone close to me would agree that the first thing I do for any task is find a reason to push it for later. I have done that in my studies (no doubt I am such a scholar), in expressing my love to my gal, in making investments, in my work place every deadline is pushed to it max extent. Now what have I left! Even after this habit of mine hurting my dreams and aspirations for some reason I just don’t seem to learn.
Because of this addiction to procrastinate I have lost quite a few opportunities to make a difference. These days the most important thing I have been postponing is the task of studying my law subjects. I better get my ass down and learn from my past mistakes. I read somewhere “If you dn’t use success to enrich your life then you are putting failure into Gucci shoes.” And for now I feel like I am the Gucci shoes. I have been trying hard to get away from one more of my addictions “PROCRASTINATION”. Recently I read an article about structured procrastination, which made me write this blog that I have as usual postponed for too long.
Structured procrastination is the art/talent of making my bad trait work for me, isn’t that cool! The key hypothesis is that procrastinating does not mean doing absolutely nothing, I rarely do absolutely nothing; I do marginally useful things, like browsing net or reading useless magazines/papers or making a diagram of how I will reorganize files/mails when I get around to it. Why do I do these things? Because they are a way of not doing something more important!
Structured procrastination requires a certain amount of self-deception. I will have to be able to recognize and commit to tasks with inflated importance and unreal deadlines, while making myself feel that they are important and urgent. This is not a problem, because virtually all procrastinators have excellent self-deceptive skills also. And what could be more noble than using one character flaw to offset the bad effects of another? Perfect!!!
Procrastination

Middle Class

I hate being part of the middle class. It is like I am being boxed into a corner and finding myself in a corner is something I detest. I know I am part of a relatively narrow slice - larger in numbers than the wealthy, but obviously less numerous than the poor. I am part of the only class in the society to which all the laws of the society apply. It is only us who pay tax, it is only us to whom all the rules & regulations are enforced on. Everyone in the upper or the lower most strata indulge in drugs, murders, polygamy, and every other illicit activity and are not deterred by the outcome. The upper class just buy their way out, the lower class are not just bothered.
I have to move out of this jailed class of the society. How will I move between strata; what kind of environment is conducive for me to do that? Analyzing this I have realized that when the economy is consumer centric, upper class take over. When the economy is focused on infrastructure or goods and services for the masses, the middle class prospers. Also history shows that the strongest economy in terms of volume presently – American economy was built on products-consumers. No-one can tell yet, if India is moving towards a product economy or a service economy. I am ready to be a bookie on this one, I have already placed my bet and the roulette wheel is in motion. The bet I have placed along with my partner for life may be our ticket out, we are betting on Services - the underdog.
The greatest problem with a "service" based economy is that the only factor of production that can be changed is wages. So over a period of time when we grow big how we manage wages will surely be a big deciding factor. I being part of the middle class will have to work hard and play by the rules and go by the understanding that the game is already stacked against me.

Middle class

Communication

Nov 1st was a holiday and we were supposed to clean up the house. What we ended up doing was watching movies. Occasionally one gets to see a movie which will force you to think what if?
The movie I am talking about is Let’s Talk. It has an amazing performance by Boman Irani (Of the Munna Bhai fame). More important is the Ram Madhvani- Script writer / Director who has gone through the pains of writing about those different emotions. The movie is about what will be the different reactions a Husband will portray when his Partner/Wife/Girlfriend tells you she is pregnant and he is not the father!
The entire duration of the movie I was wondering what if I am posed a similar situation. The different emotions revealed were Depression, Anger, Violence, Revenge, Empathy, Irrationality, Denial, Forgiveness. I had to repeat some sections of the movie to understand why the wife cheated. And viola it was because of what I advocate ‘Communication’, there was a break in their communication and the wife cheats after 5 years from the time it broke. Now god knows why she took so long, according to me it happens much earlier in reality.
Communication is a very important aspect in a couple life, it is more important that sex. Any successful relationship rests on a clear and candid communication between the two. We men especially got to learn to listen for adjectives. Happily married and married is very different!
Communication

National Pride

What is that makes me say ‘I am proud being an Indian’? The more I see other countries, read about them the less I feel the pride. These days I regret to accept it but there is no pride left, I am not saying I do not love India. Love and pride are two different facets of emotions.
I read somewhere that ‘National pride is to countries what self-respect is to individuals’. It is one of the primary conditions necessary to bring about improvement in the country.
A few weeks back I was in Thailand with my Gal on a vacation. I was expecting that country to be just like India. I was wrong in every goddamn measure of yardstick. The infrastructure is amazing, the roads wide and smooth, the train system in Bangkok provided for a strong mass transportation. This is in a country which is not stable politically! The bus we took to Bangkok was a VIP bus available to public run by the state. It was a Business class flight seat with the only difference that the vehicle was on road rather then air. We landed in Bangkok very early by road around 6:00 AM and man the roads were full, people are up and going to office. Those people really work hard I presume.
One more interesting aspect which according to me indicates the maturity of general public is how people treat women of their community. Ladies usually were dressed in western cloths there and most of them had mini skirts or some kind of dress which one can term skimpy. But not one Thai male would look at them lewdly or there was no instance where some groups of males were involved in eve teasing. Thailand came across as a country which treats its women in high regard. I understand some who read this might not agree with me saying that its a land of prostitutes. What I am saying is even those prostitutes are treated well there, that shows women are kept on a pedestal, which proves it all.
Towards the end of our trip we went on a bicycle trip in Bangkok. We met some Swiss/ Dutch and Britain people, when asked about my nationality for a second I was literally ashamed to say I was an Indian.
We may have an illustrious cultural past, great history strewn with amazing personalities, superb resources. The fact is everything we have is about our past what is in the present and what is in the future. Nothing much to talk there right! We are a nation whose people are engaged in procreating more than anything else. What else can explain the 1 billion plus population we have? Indians are like a Virus we have used up the resource in India so we have started to spread everywhere else like USA/ UK/ Australia. Wherever we go, we just start multiplying, just run your eyes around in any community outside India. There will be invariably some sizable number of ladies in some stage of pregnancy. Do I need to say more on this?
India would need a minimum of 10 years to setup a decent state of infrastructure and I have no idea how long it would take for our people to mature and move ahead in life.
Bottom line- with the current state of affairs for me there is no pride left in being an Indian.
Pride

Is it a Mans World!!!

I had been to Hyderabad last weekend. The trip and the shopping with my Gal made me think on this topic.
It’s a known thing that it’s a man’s world. But my question is, is it really our world? What do you define your world as? I am not defining my world as just my work environment; it even involves my life outside work. When I got out for a movie, to a restaurant, go bowling, go to a beach, anywhere, everywhere and wherever out of my work place, it’s the same scenario. I have realized why do men want power and money? I am of the opinion that men do it to impress their women or the women/lady they crave for. It’s the basic fundamental animal instinct of having the biggest herd with the most females like in a lion’s pride.
Visit a shopping lane like the choodi bazaar, chandini chowk etc it is only for ladies and nothing for men. It’s so difficult to find a market which is exclusive to us men, and think about the same for ladies you can find a dozen in the every city.
Why is that most men have the perception that they run the world when its actually the women who do it, or the motivation to please women is what drives the world round. Come on let us accept the fact that Women are smart (more than 50% are definitely and the rest are the blonde category) without them there would have been no civilization.
There is a song James Brown - It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World depicting my point of view on the topic.
Man's World

First Time

I have lately realized that for anything in life, the first experience cannot be matched by any other experience. One of the bands I love has a song on this context. SADE – Never As Good As First Time. Recently when my thoughts were lingering on this topic this song was playing and I was able to relate to the lyrics.
After that I have been pondering over this for sometime now, and I am able to recollect a few first times etched into my memory. They are fresh on my mind and I feel they happened just sometime back, some of the memorable first times are
My first personal failure
My first college fight
My first win in a sport
My first crush
My first date
My first Kiss
My first attempt at expressing my love
My first Day at work
My first Pay check
I can make a huge list of other smaller first times like being hit, sky diving, skiing, roller coasters etc etc.
Now coming to the basic question of why is that the first experiences over-shadows all the remaining instance of the same activity. Why is that we give so much importance to something when we are doing/performing for the first time? Why do first impressions contribute so much to our perception of things?
There are a lot of firsts in life. The reason that we remember these ‘firsts’ is because they are important to us. After the first time, we have crossed over into new territory. The second time won’t be like the first time it is no more the land of unknowns!
First Time

Blue Jeans

This is an ode to my Jeans. I have reached a point where I will be forced to stop wearing my Jeans whenever I feel like it. I will be pressurized to take up formal clothing by my career needs. But Fri-Sun will always be Jeans days;>)
I love myself when I am in my blue jeans. I feel like the rebel I am, free spirited not bounded to anything. It does not matter how, where, when I use it. I can sit on anything anywhere, everywhere. I don’t feel constrained like in a formal pant. Jeans is not just a pant it is an entire character which one wears. For me it’s like the Mask (Jim Carey – MASK) the only difference, it’s on my legs! It’s like that shield on those super humans – Superman / He-Man etc.
Its makes me feel I am still ME – the non-conformist of the society. The only color I like in Jeans is the original Blue from Levi’s, to a certain extent even the stone black is good. All the remaining colors do not stand for Jeans; they actually dilute the essence of Jeans according to me.
I cannot believe that I was not wearing Jeans till I joined college. I was in my Engineering days when I started wearing one. The first one I bought was obviously an original Blue Jeans. I can still remember the day when I went shopping for it with my friend (late) Prakash. It was not that I was not audacious; it was just that after I got my first Jeans I started to flaunt I am an individualist.
For the uninformed lot, Jeans has its origin in India. The earliest known version of Jeans is the Dungaree – a thick cotton cloth from the 16th Century India. The current version of Jeans is basically from France and not from USA like most of us think.
Jeans

Security

I would love to get the secure feeling of walking alone with my dog back when I was a child, or sleeping at night after listening to one of my Mom’s mix ‘n match stories. These days I cherish the feeling of playing some good music on and driving with my gal as the navigator. It is more or less like my life; I am driving with directions and help from my gal.
Security has always been a loaded word. Webster’s defines it as “freedom from fear, anxiety, danger, and doubt.” It is within Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs, and in my case it is achieved in a different order. So no matter how you slice it, security comes down to fundamental sense of well-being or safety.
Few days back my well wishers gave the same reason “Security” to dissuade me from resigning from the company I have been with for past 5+ years. The point I am not able to understand is how working in a big company gives security? Security is not the point of concern for me as of now. I need to focus on the aspects of self actualization. I want to have the peak experiences in my career like in everything I do. To do this I need to expose myself to newer opportunities-challenges. I hope the decision of shifting companies will open doors to the path I want to take rather than being just a window to the path!
Security

Superiority

When do feelings of superiority arise to make us happy? When we are conscious of differences between what we believe is "ours" and what we believe is "theirs". But seriously I feel instead of the Nazis harboring the feeling of being superior it is we Indians who must have felt that. We are far more superior as a race intellectually and physically than any of our counterparts in the world. I clearly agree we are not the best when each point is taken individually but we are the best blend – concoctions that are available in nature. The recipe for success!
Now why am I talking of this. Few days back I was trying to correlate two things, worldwide lust to Hollywood actress Angelina Joile and Indian population attraction to the dusky actress Bipasha Basu. The only similarity both have is both have brown skin and not the fair complexion of the other popular kittens in the world.
The word Aryan which is used to describe the superior race is again an Indian word by origin. Its history starts with the ancient Indo-Iranians, Indo-European people who inhabited parts of what are now Iran, Afghanistan, and India. Their tribal self-designation was a word reconstructed as *arya– or *ārya–. It’s a Sanskrit derivation (For that matter it’s a well know fact that Sanskrit is the most superior language) *ārya which refers to the upper crust of ancient Indian society.
Now let me give my cent to the debate on superiority :-
Physically superiority: Indians have all the traits of the most superior physical traits. It’s a well know fact that it is always the superior trait – gene that gets percolated from our ancestors. We have black eyes, black hair, darker skin (used to be Black but that has evolved into brown over the ages – I am talking more about the Dravidian Indian).
Intellectual superiority: Indians have proved beyond doubt that we have the most brilliant people in all walks of life. I am not rejecting the fact that there are intellectually brighter populations like the Israeli, Russian. But given the fact that Indian population is huge it can eat up on any competition. The recent developments of Indians taking over the silicon valley, getting the best research jobs all over the world, taking over crucial and big companies (Mittal-Arcelor) is just a pre-cursor to things if we start digging on this topic.
It’s the basic Darwin theory -survival of the fittest. The inevitable outcome would be Indians or at least a variant becoming the largest population in the world (with the amount of Indians migrating all over the world). Knowing the great appetite of Indians to procreate it is not a very far sighted goal.
Aryan

Commitment

Recently on New Year's eve, I had been to a club in New York on Times Square. It was a great time; I started of the year feeling great, in the after glow of getting a request for a dance from a pretty lady. A complete stranger on the dance floor asked me for a dance. I relented for a single dance and ended up dancing for two songs one with her and one with her and her friend. The dance and my thoughts during and after the dance forced me to think about loyalty and infidelity. When my friends got to know about it, the first response was we knew you couldn’t be committed and loyal. I was like wow wow hold on for a second, when did this become an incident of infidelity. Even my woman was like, it better have stopped at just a dance. What I did was not a pointer or precursor to anything. All I did was have a plain simple dance with two pretty women and suddenly it was a topic of my loyalty.
Commitment is a very strong word. It depicts the difference between humans and animals. Humans have the capacity to be committed to something/anything. I define commitment as a choice I make, a choice I made to love or do something among the options I have. The difficulty in being committed to anything is because I need to make the same choice every single time I encounter a situation to choose.
When the walls start closing in, the choices made is what decides whether I'm committed or not.
commitment

Non-conformist

One thing I started during my teenage life is to be a non-conformist. I started of rebelling against my parent’s belief now the rebelling has encompassed the society. I am at such a stage, where even if I want to conform to the general mainstream society, I a’int allowed to. Me not being able to get an admit to pursue what I feel is the right path is just proving that point once again. I cannot take the path taken by the common man.

I have shed quite a few tears and gone through a lot of anguish and its enough. Two tears for the bucket, fuck it. I am a non-conformist not just by choice, rather by the force of my fate and circumstances. I have asked myself, whether I could possibly be happy pretending to be a conformist. Can I voluntarily create an illusionary Garden of Eden like all the people around me? Will I feel content, looking and acting like other people? Will I ever feel self-conscious being different from everyone else and want to change? Will I have the courage of convictions to stand-alone even if the whole world is against me? I have done that in my personal life, so there is precedence prooving I am capable of it. The question now is, am I capable of doing it consistently throughout my life? Eventually I will have to answer these questions honestly, to be truly happy with my achievement and purpose in life. Lots of questions unanswered but when can one have answers to all the questions in life?

non-conformist

Can I play with MADNESS?

I never thought that in my life it would hurt me so much to tell a lie. I have lied before, I even considered myself a smooth operator. I admired my capabilities to lie thru my teeth. For the past 2-3 days, I have been saying one particular lie, which pricks my soul and my conscious. I have never hurt myself, so hard ever in my life. The pain is so deep it is pushing me to play with madness again. I have escaped once in my life before from madness in search of my dream. I am getting a feeling these past few days that madness is catching up with me.
This particular set of lies, I am throwing out will cause me a lot of harm. Even though it sounds and seems the right thing to do now. This will hurt my reputation and my integrity in the long run. Compared to my peers at this point in my life, any fool can tell I am a loser!!!
I have everything a man could ever need, except a reason to wake up every morning. Every morning, that single split second after I open my eyes there is that someone to turn to. The one who loves me and holds me tighter through my defeats, than through my victories. I hope I will not lose everything for that reason I crave. I hope I don’t have to then start trying to gain that split second back. The choice I need to make is something I will never be able to make in my life. In both the choice, I stand to gain nothin and lose everything its a lose-lose. I hate my faith, my belief to put me into such a situation. The choice I am being forced to make, is like the move my fate has played against me in a game of chess. It’s a checkmate in this game of MADNESS.
Madness Lies

Broken at dead-end

Today was the penultimate deadline when I might have got the admit mail from University-MBA. I saw a few people sending out messages on the forum announcing they received. That moment it struck me, I had not made the cut finally. It is a very hard swallow of pride. The most disturbing fact is that I did everything possible to get a seat. Now that I have not been able to get it, the question definitely falls on my capabilities.
I kept worrying every single day after I submitted what if I don’t get it. I had read/heard about a saying, ‘Worry is interest paid on a debt that never comes due’ Now I know a thing or two about worrying because that is what I have been doing for the past one month. Forget the interest now I have a huge principal, which I need to pay up. I am broke! Now where do I file bankruptcy with respect to hope/faith, which temple/graveyard? I had everything planned assuming I would get it, I was very confident that my profile was strong. The more I think about the failure the more it hurts, it’s like scratching a wound, itching makes the pain worse.
According to me, there are four kinds of people on this planet; Quitters - the hopeless romantics who like but are not passionate about what they want to do, Losers - the great dreamers there is no actions to their thought, Winners - people who forget they are in a race and just love to run and Achievers - who never lose focus they always know where the finish line is.
I always considered myself an Achiever, but today I feel like a Loser. I am all broken, the crystal ball around me seems to have shattered to so small pieces that, I cannot even collect them. I feel like I may go mad, with all the distress signals my mind is receiving from my heart.
The song, which is running in my mind right now, is 3 Doors Down – Loser. After a long journey, I feel like I have hit the dead end. This was the very best and the fastest path to my goal. Now with this door closed, with it I have lost the assistance of an MBA to reach my goal. Now sitting at this dead end, I need to plot now. I need to map alternative paths to reach my goal.

Broken

Decisions

Yesterday I put myself in a very difficult situation. I, in most probability put in motion probably a chain of events, which may change my career. I have only one person to help me make my decision. It is the one person who will be affected the most by any of my actions.
When I was very young, I have made decisions very important ones (relative at that age) with just a coin toss. Only if decision-making was as simple as tossing a coin. Now at this age I have responsibilities I cannot do the same. I hold myself accountable for the life of a few people who depend on me. I must map out the likely consequences of decisions, work out the importance of individual factors and choose the best course of action to take.
I have used all the decision-making techniques (Grid Analysis/ Six thinking hats etc) to arrive at a decision. The opportunity I have now in front of me is like a window I never knew existed. I was expecting to reach a door thru which I could pass through to the career I want. The path to that door turned out wrong. The mapquest-guidance gave me a wrong route map! I just hope I make the right decision and never regret my actions.

Decisions

Women

I can just start and end my post with WOMEN = ENIGMA. It says it all but let me write more about it for the uninitiated.
Now people who know me would say, 'High time this bloke wrote about it'. This is one topic I consider myself proficient enough to talk. Come on, experiences makes a person know quite a bit about the topic. Few yrs back, now that looks like a lifetime ago, I was what some people would call the ladies man. Now what can I write about women/ladies/girls. Only one word can describe them appropriately according to me 'ENIGMA'. Only a fool will try to unravel the perpetual mystery. I was one such fool years back now I am a wise fool! I am still pursuing my attempt to understand my woman; it’s a matter of survival now, more about this in some other post.
Women ain’t they perfect? No matter what they are skinny, fat, blonde, brunette or even blue! If she is willing to give here love, it’s the greatest gift in the world. It makes you tall, makes you shine, smile and feel contended. They are a perfect combination of joy and ache, joy when you first get to know them and ache when they leave you.
Women on this planet come in all different shapes, sizes, color and mentality. Never ever, go by the looks of a woman. Generally, a man would want a conventionally beautiful woman clinging on to his arms, whom he can flaunt in front of his friends and family as a mark of personal achievement, a trophy, and status symbol. Beware what a man needs in the longer run is closeness and honesty in an intense emotionally supportive relation. For this, men have to look for real women, a woman whose beauty is more than skin deep. Believe me because I have been there done that, had ‘n’ number of relations learnt from mistakes and finally found my girl. Now I was plain lucky that she is pretty even in the conventional sense.
Guys, in my opinion do not necessarily stick to first girl you come across. Go out burn your hands, its fun knowing the different - colors of hair possible, touch of those different soft skin, ways each girls feels in your arms, smell of different girls, the taste of biting them (wherever). It is a buyers market so sample a few; do you ever buy a car without test-driving it? Ladies reading this post no pun intended, it’s applicable even for you. There can be no end on what can be written about women, but the best way to know them is not reading; rather it’s in meeting them. So let me end this with a quote applicable to chocolates and women.
‘Sweets are first tasted by the eye, but flavor is the heart and soul of all confectionery.’ - John Millar

Women

What I want

I have been asking this question myself for quite sometime now. What do I really want to do in life? Apart from the natural want of having a nice full life with my lady. I have now started to question my purpose in life. I want to be part of something, which I can be proud of later in my life. I do not know if what I have is ambition or aspiration. In my definition, the difference between the two is very simple. In the former one wants to make it big at all costs and in the later one wants to make a difference at all cost. I am unable to make out the distinction because I don’t know what cost am I willing to bear to achieve what I pursue.
I am at a very crucial juncture in life when I need to decide the amount of sacrifice I am willing to do now and later in life. This is one of the stages when I have been reminded the absence of someone to guide and mentor me in my life. Probably the situation of ‘a kind man talking to a stubborn man’ has been with me because I never appreciated the credibility of people who gave me the unsolicited advice.
I have started to believe I need to modify my principle in life to ‘If you cannot be first, be the best. If you cannot be the best, be the first’. I need to work harder to create my own destiny.