Today was the penultimate deadline when I might have got the admit mail from University-MBA. I saw a few people sending out messages on the forum announcing they received. That moment it struck me, I had not made the cut finally. It is a very hard swallow of pride. The most disturbing fact is that I did everything possible to get a seat. Now that I have not been able to get it, the question definitely falls on my capabilities.I kept worrying every single day after I submitted what if I don’t get it. I had read/heard about a saying, ‘Worry is interest paid on a debt that never comes due’ Now I know a thing or two about worrying because that is what I have been doing for the past one month. Forget the interest now I have a huge principal, which I need to pay up. I am broke! Now where do I file bankruptcy with respect to hope/faith, which temple/graveyard? I had everything planned assuming I would get it, I was very confident that my profile was strong. The more I think about the failure the more it hurts, it’s like scratching a wound, itching makes the pain worse.
According to me, there are four kinds of people on this planet; Quitters - the hopeless romantics who like but are not passionate about what they want to do, Losers - the great dreamers there is no actions to their thought, Winners - people who forget they are in a race and just love to run and Achievers - who never lose focus they always know where the finish line is.
I always considered myself an Achiever, but today I feel like a Loser. I am all broken, the crystal ball around me seems to have shattered to so small pieces that, I cannot even collect them. I feel like I may go mad, with all the distress signals my mind is receiving from my heart.
The song, which is running in my mind right now, is 3 Doors Down – Loser. After a long journey, I feel like I have hit the dead end. This was the very best and the fastest path to my goal. Now with this door closed, with it I have lost the assistance of an MBA to reach my goal. Now sitting at this dead end, I need to plot now. I need to map alternative paths to reach my goal.
