I never thought that in my life it would hurt me so much to tell a lie. I have lied before, I even considered myself a smooth operator. I admired my capabilities to lie thru my teeth. For the past 2-3 days, I have been saying one particular lie, which pricks my soul and my conscious. I have never hurt myself, so hard ever in my life. The pain is so deep it is pushing me to play with madness again. I have escaped once in my life before from madness in search of my dream. I am getting a feeling these past few days that madness is catching up with me.This particular set of lies, I am throwing out will cause me a lot of harm. Even though it sounds and seems the right thing to do now. This will hurt my reputation and my integrity in the long run. Compared to my peers at this point in my life, any fool can tell I am a loser!!!
I have everything a man could ever need, except a reason to wake up every morning. Every morning, that single split second after I open my eyes there is that someone to turn to. The one who loves me and holds me tighter through my defeats, than through my victories. I hope I will not lose everything for that reason I crave. I hope I don’t have to then start trying to gain that split second back. The choice I need to make is something I will never be able to make in my life. In both the choice, I stand to gain nothin and lose everything its a lose-lose. I hate my faith, my belief to put me into such a situation. The choice I am being forced to make, is like the move my fate has played against me in a game of chess. It’s a checkmate in this game of MADNESS.
Madness Lies
